On occasions when he makes no mention of his late wife, you and your widower have a great time together. Men who haven't quite reached the ready-to-date stage nevertheless manage to draw companions into their trajectory while they figure things out.
He loves the attention you lavish on him and he tries to reciprocate. Some women spend years orbiting a world of grief that is not their own.
Psychoanalyst Darian Leader calls this the Rebecca Syndrome, a reference to the Daphne du Maurier novel in which the heroine is terribly haunted by the ghost of her husband's late wife. Leader, the power of what has gone before will infuse even the most contented new partnerships. Social scientists have found that men look to reconnect because they want what they had before, what they're used to.
New York Times writer Elizabeth Olson notes just one man's unapologetic reason to want a new wife -- he's overwhelmed by household chores, and he can't find things around the house.
~ Julie Donner Andersen I’m at the very beginning of a potential relationship with a guy who I’ve reconnected with after many years (we knew each other in high school).
His spouse of 27 years passed away four months ago, after a very long (21 years) battle with Multiple Sclerosis.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is no specific time frame.
Sometimes it's guilt -- a feeling of being unfaithful to a lost partner.
Sometimes families oppose new ties -- adult children fearing that a new woman will undermine the sanctity of their parents' long marriage.
Living in denial of grief’s existence will only prolong your spouse’s grief recovery.
Check out the book, Dating a Widower: Starting A Relationship With A Man Who’s Starting over by Abel Keogh, for more insight.